Shame on me cause I live in the first world, I have not too many problems, I love and am loved by my family, friends and husband, and yet I see no point on nowadays life.
Abandon any attempt of advice, consolation or reprimand, cause I am right.
Everything is an accumulation of anxiety, insatisfaction, frustration, lack of confidence, impotency and resignation that makes everything nonsense.
Please, anybody give me a decent argument to convince me that I am wrong. I am positive and open minded.
But you know I am right.
Why running all day, all time, all life long? Where do we aim our willingness? And for what reason?
Why all the possessions? Why all the accomplishments?
I mean, I know all of that respond to needs and egos, but, do they really satisfy us 100% at the end? Are we finally plenty? Does the result really explain the final sense of itself?
Do we, alone with ourselves, see each of our lifes as a whole that begins and ends plenty and full everyday?
How many times do you find yourself asking ‘why am I doing this’? How many times do you find yourself betraying yourself, lying to yourself, sacrifying yourself, humiliating yourself?
I have humiliated myself.
I have sacrified myself.
I have lyed to myself.
I have breayed myself.
And now, realising about it, I feel sorry for my being. I can observe me, being a sacred creature I shouldn´t have profaned or tainted with this nonsense life. Maybe this is the image I must keep as the seed of my redemption.
We have lost the real awareness about the complete scope of a plenty life. We even fail to understand the proportion of true joy, of pure jubilance, of inocent pleasure that living could offer us.
I can only lucubrate about it using a clumsy logic process of understanding.
I think that only beause some reminiscence of instinct, I know this is true.
And I know we do not know what we are doing.
SOTHIACO 